Finding Quiet Time in Marriage: Tips for Couples
In the hustle and bustle of married life, finding moments of quiet can often feel impossible. Balancing family, work, and social obligations can be overwhelming. The noise of daily responsibilities often drowns out our need for stillness and connection. Yet, amidst this chaos, God invites us to pause, reflect, and nurture our relationships—with Him and with our spouses.
Psalm 46:10 reminds us, “Be still, and know that I am God.” This powerful verse encourages us to carve out sacred time for quietness. It allows us to reconnect with our faith and each other. But how can we navigate the distractions that threaten this vital practice? Let’s explore the importance of quiet time. We will look into practical strategies for carving it out in our busy lives. We will also discuss how to foster a deeper spiritual connection with God and our partners.
The Importance of Quiet Time in Marriage
Quiet time is not just a personal practice; it’s a lifeline for our marriages. In these moments of stillness, we can experience God’s presence and hear His voice, which strengthens our relationships. When we create space for quiet, we allow God to speak into our lives and our marriages.
Often, it’s tough to get our busy schedules under control. It’s hard to align them in a way that allows for a dedicated quiet time with our spouse daily. When busy schedules collide, don’t give up! Keep your scheduled quiet time even if your spouse has prior obligations at that time. It’s okay if your spouse has to have a separate quiet time sometimes. Come back together at the end of the day for prayer. Share with one another what you learned. Also, share what God spoke to you during your individual quiet times.
Personal Note:
Let’s be realistic, together quiet times with our spouse don’t always work for everyone. For my husband and I, studying the Bible together often brings feelings of stress. There, I said it! It’s not something any couple wants to admit, but in being realistic, it’s just the truth of the matter. We both have different ways of learning and different ways of studying the Bible. My way of studying and absorbing God’s Word does not work for my husband. His way does not work for me. We all have our own way that we learn best. Yours might be to read silently and listen for God to speak. For us, we are newlyweds, and still learning our own rhythms and routines and what works for us. My husband works long hours overnight. We also have horses to take care of. Finding space for daily quiet time together is a real struggle.
Your spouse might enjoy digging deeper with a concordance, several different translations and a commentary or two. No one way is right or wrong. The important thing is to just do it! You can come back together for prayer and to discuss what you learned. Consider what you feel God is speaking to you and for your marriage. Apply these insights to your life together.
I still have my own personal quiet time. I like to call it secret place time. My husband also has his own quiet time. Sometimes, we sit down together, and just read. My husband reads God’s Word out loud to me (this is my ? favorite). I look up words or verses when we need more clarification. As long as the Bible is your foundation you can’t go wrong.
Biblical Foundation
Throughout Scripture, we see the significance of seeking God in solitude. Jesus regularly withdrew to quiet places for prayer (Luke 5:16), demonstrating the necessity of stillness for spiritual growth. We live in a culture that glorifies busyness. Prioritizing quiet time becomes an act of faith. It reminds us that our worth is not tied to our productivity.
The Spiritual Benefits of Quiet Time
- Renewed Mind and Spirit: Quiet time offers a chance for spiritual renewal. It aligns our thoughts with God’s truth. It helps us make clearer decisions in our marriages.
- Strengthened Faith: Regular moments with God deepen our trust in Him. They allow us to face the challenges of married life with resilience.
- Inner Peace: In stillness, we find rest for our souls. It provides a reprieve from the anxieties and stresses of daily life.
Overcoming Distractions Together
Distractions are a common barrier to maintaining quiet time. Whether it’s external interruptions or internal restlessness, these challenges can hinder our spiritual growth and marital intimacy.
Common Distractions
- Technology Overload: Phones and social media can encroach on our sacred moments. A quick check can lead to hours of scrolling, leaving little time for meaningful connection.
- Busy Schedules: Packed days can make it seem impossible to carve out time for stillness. We often put it off, thinking we’ll get to it later, but later can easily slip away.
- Mental Clutter: Even in physical quiet, our minds can race with worries. These worries and to-do lists make it hard to focus on God’s presence.
Strategies for Creating Quiet Time
The good news is that with intentionality, we can create space for quiet time in our busy lives. Here are some practical strategies to prioritize this sacred practice:
1. Set Clear Boundaries
Set specific times each day for prayer and reflection, and communicate these intentions with your spouse. Let them know this time is sacred and ask for their support in respecting it. For example, if mornings are your most peaceful time together, set an early alarm. Dedicate the first 20-30 minutes, or whatever amount you wish, to quiet time together.
2. Limit Distractions
Create an environment conducive to stillness by minimizing distractions. Consider putting away technology or designating a specific spot in your home as your quiet space. A clutter-free area can help foster peace and focus. Have a set place with everything you need. Be prepared in advance. This will prevent the distraction of searching for necessary items during your quiet time.
3. Use Scripture as a Focus Point
Meditate on Scripture together to deepen your connection with God. For instance, use Psalm 46:10 as a starting point. Repeat the words together, letting each phrase sink into your hearts.
4. Start Small
If long periods of stillness seem daunting, start with just 5–10 minutes. As you build consistency, you find yourselves naturally wanting to extend the time. If you find you only have 5-10 minutes a day that works for you both, then great. Don’t skip quiet times because of a lack of more time. Use what time you have. Maybe it’s the 10 minutes in between your husband leaving for work and you getting the kids up for school. Use whatever time you have.
5. Embrace Silence and Solitude
Allow yourselves to sit quietly in God’s presence without an agenda. This solitude is an opportunity to be alone with the One who knows you both fully and loves you deeply.
Journaling as a Tool for Reflection
Consider journaling to process thoughts and record insights during your quiet time. Use this prompt to find distractions together:
Prompt: “What distractions do we need to surrender?”
Be honest as you write. Are there habits or commitments that pull your focus away from God and each other? List them and ask God for the strength to release them.
Maybe you don’t have time to journal. Grab your phone. Open up the voice memo app. It comes free on almost every phone. Use the voice memo to dictate your journal entry. You can go back and listen to it later as many times as you need to. Most voice memo apps have a transcribe feature. They turn your voice note into text. You can then copy this text into a digital journal. In this way you can even do this while doing the laundry, cooking, doing dishes driving to work.
Real-Life Application: Living Out Quiet Time
Making quiet time a priority is about transforming your mindset as a couple. When you embrace stillness, you create space for God to work in your lives and marriage powerfully.
Practical Tips for Application:
- Daily Habit: Commit to a consistent time each day, whether it’s morning, midday, or evening.
- Accountability: Share your quiet time goals with each other. Encourage one another to stay on track.
- Grace for Each Other: Building a new habit takes time. If you miss a day, don’t let guilt hold you back—just start again tomorrow.
The Gift of Surrender
Surrendering distractions is not just about giving up something. It’s about gaining something far greater. You gain a deeper intimacy with God and each other. Each time you lay down a distraction, you make room for His presence to fill your lives.
Closing Encouragement
In the busy rhythm of married life, quiet time may feel elusive, but it’s a pursuit worth prioritizing together. By setting boundaries, limiting distractions, and embracing stillness, you can create sacred space to connect with God and each other. Let Psalm 46:10 be your anchor, reminding you that even amidst chaos, God invites you to be still and know Him.
So, take a moment today. Pause, breathe, and surrender the distractions. Trust that in the stillness, you will find the One. He is always faithful. He is always present. He is always enough for your marriage.
Journaling Challenge
This week, set aside intentional time each day to reflect on:
“What distractions do we need to surrender?”
Write down your thoughts and pray for God’s guidance in creating space for Him in your marriage. Be sure to journal any insights you have gained. Record any questions you need answered. Capture anything you feel God speaking to you through your quiet time together.
May your journey into stillness lead you closer to the heart of God. It will also bring you closer to each other, where His peace surpasses all understanding.
Call to Action:
Share your experience with quiet time in the comments to encourage us all. How has implementing a quiet time with your spouse drawn you closer to God and each other.
